There has been marriage talk.
This is getting serious.
4.) Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.
You know that feeling when you say or do something that you just wish you could rewind and take back? And then you think about it years later and physically just want to shake your head hard and try to think of something else? I wouldn’t say I have moments like that often…but I’ve definitely had my share.
I played club volleyball throughout high school and went on to play college ball with a majority of my club teammates. We spent hours and hours of our time together. I was in the best physical shape of my life…3 mile runs were our daily warm ups before practice started. I ran a mile in less than seven minutes. I could jump, I could dive, I could hit, I could block. Our team was undefeated…ranked 14th in the nation at one point…and then we cracked.
Totally fell apart.
We had been predicted to win championships and we lost out on the first day of the tournament. I don’t know what happened that day…it still doesn’t sit well with me. But I know what happened to me. My mind was elsewhere. My step dad was terminally ill and though I couldn’t see it then, looking back I realize what a distraction that was for me.I left school at the end of that year and enrolled myself in a four year university my junior year. I missed playing and I was confident I could play volleyball again. I was determined to end on a better note. I knew I could play at the level of this university. I knew I could be better than some of the returning players.
I went to the coach and nervously asked for a chance. He invited me to tryout and practice with his team for a couple of months. There were about eight of us new girls trying out. And the practices were ridiculous. I was in horrible shape…gasping for air as we completed vigorous cardio workouts. The returning team members were not extremely friendly. They had played together and known each other and I was competing for a spot to replace one of them.
My sarcastic jokes fell on deaf ears. They didn’t think I was funny. So I didn’t really talk at all. One by one the girls trying out with me started quitting. There were two of us left and the coach joked to everybody about how we were all dropping like flies. We couldn’t hang.
I knew I was not doing well. But I felt like if he would just keep me on and give me a chance I could prove myself. It would take more time to get in shape again, but I could do it. I could be a leader. I’m not the type of person to involve myself in activities I might fail in. If I’m going to commit myself to something than dang it, I’m going to succeed.
He posted the cuts on his door and I absolutely did not want to find the results. If my name was not on the door than I was not on the team. The last thing I wanted was for him to catch me scanning that sheet and then call me in to his office to talk. *cringe* *shudder*
So I made my best friend do it for me. I instructed her exactly where to go and what to look for…when she returned she confirmed my fears. My name was not on the door. I had failed. I had committed and failed. I wanted to be the best, I believed I
could be the best…but I was the worst.
I was that girl.
Man that sucked.
*edited to add*
My sister…who happens to be the families all star athlete…who played on an all star soccer team with a full scholarship at the rival university I attended…who was one of those all star returners with a secure spot every year…just read this post and emailed me this:
“You were THAT girl in college?? I forgot you had tried out. And now having played and remembering those girls from come and try out, it’s dawning on me that THAT was you… and yes we were not warm and welcoming, and no their jokes weren’t funny. i think in all my 5 years we picked up one girl, so don’t feel too bad.”
Seeeee….so it wasn’t just ME that got cut….we were ALL bad.
It’s just that she’s the most interesting character in the house right now. No one wants to hear about Kainoa’s current obsession with Elmo or how he screams at me to give him “dat” all day and how I have no idea what “dat” is.
kainoa: “Want dat mommy!!! Want dat!!”
me: What do you want Kainoa?? Do you want your blanket? Do you want juice? Do you want a banana? Do you want a girlfriend? WHAT? What do you want?
kainoa: NOOO!!! DAT mommy DAT!
me: Kainoa I don’t what DAT is and I have no idea what you’re talking about.
kainoa: WAAAAAA!!!
See what I mean. Boring.
And no one wants to hear about how Laina begs me to print her coloring pictures all. day. long…and how she only wants coloring pictures of dogs and how her obsession with dogs has not faded in the four years I’ve known her, which leads me to believe that perhaps she was one in another life.
Since nobody wants to know about that stuff it leaves me with no choice but to talk about Maile’s birthday party…a post that got pushed aside due to me being lazy about it.
I spent the morning of Maile’s birthday decorating so that she’d be surprised with a party when she got home from school.
I thought it would be a terrific idea to go to the pet store and pick her up her own pet mouse. She had been talking about REALLY wanting a little white one and they look harmless enough so…
Luckily I have a wonderful assistant who was able to help me put the fancy pink cage together. Actually her niece happened to be with her and knew ALLLL about rodents and how to put their cages together. She was actually a huge help.
And she cracked us up because she would say things like, “You know these things don’t live that long so don’t be surprised when Maile’s crying in a month because her mouse is dead.”
I kind of wanted to adopt her.
Next I surprised my girl at school with a happy meal, a balloon, and cupcakes. I realize I’m completely setting myself up for failure in the years to come. There’s no way I’m going to be able to keep this up and Kainoa is totally going to get shafted. Poor kid.
I put the finishing touches on the party when I got home…thankfully Michelle from Le Poppy Design came to my rescue as far as decorations go. Michelle is one of my little sister’s best friends and she’s seriously amazing at crafts and decor. She puts together party packages on Etsy that are tailored to each individual child’s interests.
Nice right!?!
Maile requested a “seal” birthday party. Seriously. Where am I supposed to get seal birthday decor?
I emailed Michelle just days before the party and she she emailed me back and was all “no problem, I’m your girl!”
And then like one hour later she emailed again to say, “and fyi do not google search “baby seals” unless you want to see men clubbing the creatures…tell Maile thanks for that.”
And being the intellect that I am I thought…’what kind of men go clubbing with baby seals!?!’…thinking it was some sick spin on sickos and their animal fetishes. I mean come on I don’t know what kind of crazy things people are doing these days and if clubbing with seals was a new trend I wanted to know about it…so I did what Michelle discouraged me from doing and found a disturbing sight indeed.
Turns out men are not clubbing WITH baby seals so much as they are actually “beating” seals with clubs…as in to death…with giant bats…and then they photograph it…and put it on the internet.
Awesome.
Thank you Maile.
I SO would have rather seen some men and seals drinking margaritas together. It just makes more sense to me like that.
Michelle still somehow managed to create two amazing seal inspired banners and cake toppers for my girl!
ps Here’s the happy moment when Maile was presented with little “White Eye”…her mouse.
ps again “White Eye” now has a sister that Laina lovingly refers to as “Apple”. More to come on that later…
ps once more If Apple turns out to be a boy, you all are getting baby mice for Christmas…just sayin.