Pat and I assumed our usual positions in front of our computers last night. Pat interrupted my usual tweeting program with a “Hey Kat?” and I barely glanced up from my computer. “Hmm?” And then he said the words that sent me into a quiet panic…
“Happy Anniversary.”
Without glancing at him I quickly maneuvered my mouse to the lower left corner of my screen and clicked on the time. Up popped my virtual calendar and all be damned if he wasn’t right.
It was our anniversary and I forgot.
Again.
me: Crap Pat! Why didn’t you tell me!?!
pat: I just did.
me: No I mean earlier…why didn’t you say something? You didn’t even call to tell me you loved me or anything! I could have gotten a babysitter and we could have gone to dinner…wait…where’s my present?? Did you bring me flowers or I don’t know…a cd or something?
pat: nah.
me: WHAT? Why!?!
pat: Because you didn’t remember.
me: I DID remember! I just forgot to tell you.
pat: You didn’t remember.
me: How long have we been married anyways?
pat: See that! I’m not even telling you.
me: Seriously Pat how long…like 7 years?
pat: 8 years Kat. And we’ve known each other for 16.
me: Awww…you were my high school sweetheart!…You just didn’t know it! Crazy to think 8 years ago right now we were in Hawaii sans any kids, staying in one of the nicest hotels you can find and living the good life.
pat: And now look at us…
me: Do you remember how mad I was when you picked me up at the airport? You had flown down earlier to help prep and I had to fly down by myself with my dress as a carry on…
pat: Yeah I remember…
me: I had to walk through that muggy airport all by myself on Oahu with my giant dress looking for my connecting flight…
pat: Yeah I remember…
me: I had to sit in the airport all by myself for hours waiting for the connecting flight to Lanai AND I got on the WRONG plane! They had to run out there and call my name and have me get OFF the plane in front of everyone. So embarrassing.
pat: That must have been before the TSA cared about terrorists.
me: And when I finally landed in Lanai no one was there to pick me up. You had fallen asleep!
pat: Ahem.
me: God I was mad. I mean that was a looong stressful day for me and here you were sleeping! And the worst part was
pat: I REMEMBER!
me: That when you FINALLY pulled up to the airport…
pat: I know!
me: The airport I had been sitting at alone with my giant dress and all my luggage…sweating.
pat: The popsicle, I KNOW!
me: You had the audacity to show up eating. a. popsicle! I mean really, what were you thinking!?!
pat: Ummm that it was hot and I wanted a popsicle?
me: You actually woke up…realized you were WAY late and before leaving you actually stopped at the refrigerator, opened the freezer, grabbed a popsicle, unwrapped the popsicle and enjoyed the popsicle on the way to the airport while I just sat there waiting!! God I was mad at you for that. Here you come pulling up licking your popsicle like a hot damn kid in a candy mart while I sat there baking in the sun with my wedding dress, looking completely out of place.
pat: Nah…I’m related to everyone on the island. They knew who you were.
me: Yeah they were probably all laughing at the angry white girl on the corner. They saw you pull up with that damn popsicle and KNEW you were going to get it.
pat: Kat?
me: Hmm?
pat: Happy Anniversary.
me: Happy Anniversary Pat.
Reasons I Love My Husband:
1.)He brings me warm bottles to give to the baby in the middle of the night when I am cussing him out in my head.
2.)He ignores my juvenile behavior and patiently waits for me to get over myself and discuss our finances like an adult.
3.)He sits back until I give him the “look” and then he swoops in and rescues me from a sure death of toddler suffocation.
4.)He sat at the door of the operating room, after I was rushed in following an emergency c-section, waiting for word of my condition…for six hours.
5.)He drives 45 minutes out of his way to go get me sushi on Friday night because I’m hungry and moody and tired and he wants me to be happy.
6.)He says things like, “Kat. Who are the most important people in your life? We are all here. We all love you. We’re not going anywhere. Just remember that.” and makes me feel better when things start getting to me.
7.)He takes time away from HIS job and comes home on a moments notice to help ME with MY job.
8.) When I’ve had a tough day with the kids he lets me talk it out until I run out of gas and then suggests we send them to a different daycare.
9.) He wears my pink polk-a-dotted apron without so much as a blink when I want to take a picture of him for The Blog.
10.)He will never leave me for Kathy Lee Gifford because he thinks she’s outdated and fears for his life.
11.) He supports my shopping habit and watches the children as I single handedly delay our family’s future for a few cute tops…ok a lot of cute tops…and some shoes…maybe a clutch.
12.) He’s one of those smarty pants people who is not on the up and up with hidden messages and does not care about superficial stuff…including the condition of my hair, windblown or not.
13.)He doesn’t take sides when I tell him to whack our son for an entire day of horrid behavior but instead delicately puts his hand on our baby boy’s head and turns to me to say, “My God Kat, he’s burning up!!” and then asks me to fetch the motrin.
#15. He buys me stuff to keep me from breaking his stuff.
16.) He writes me poems telling me he doesn’t want any more babies, but at least he’s being nice about it.
17.) He reminds me of our anniversary when our anniversary is nearly over and doesn’t hate me for forgetting even though I kind of hate him a little for not bringing me diamonds when he was the one who remembered.