I put a sock bun in my hair and marveled at my creation…my daughter says, “You look pretty like that” and I am satisfied.
And then she followed up with, “…like a cafeteria lady…without the net”.
So no sock bun today folks.
5.) Tell us and/or show us something that made you smile this week.
Kainoa hopped into the electric shopping cart that sits in front of Target’s doors and I was all, “Get out of there!” with my 30 bags.
And he was all, “But MOM! What does this mean??” and he pointed at the picture that warns parents not to put their babies in the front basket of the scooter.
But Kainoa trying to understand it, “No Zombie baby in da basket?”
Say what?
But upon closer inspection of the drawing I could only affirm that this was exactly what the sign meant.
“Yes Kainoa, no zombie babies allowed.”
I spent this weekend with producers from Cafe Mom Studios and Lindsay Ferrier from Suburban Turmoil. Lindsay has this fun (exhausting? insane? exhilarating?) job of completing a number of different dares in a series called “I’ll Take That Dare“on Cafe Mom’s YouTube channel.
This season she’s taking on dares with bloggers and I was lucky enough to join the crew for an episode that turned the two of us into roller skating waitresses in a 50’s diner called Frisco’s.
And now I can check that off my bucket list of things to do before I die.
We wore tiny skirts. We very slowly skated laps around the restaurant. We served some very nice men burgers and omelets, from whom Lindsay was given a $5.00 tip and I was given…$2.93. Both $14 bills. I tucked that $3.00 into my bra and vowed to do better. We picked up some advice from the adorable Frisco’s waitresses. Neither of us fell, but Lindsay managed to spill water all over herself and on a paying customer so I’d say she wins.
At the end of the day my butt killed, my brain was still rolling, and when I threw my tired clothes across the room in exchange for yoga pants and a tank top my $3.00 went flying and reminded me why it is I do what I do.
And that’s because…I really am losing it.
Next week Lindsay films in Nashville with Scary Mommy. Pat was all, “Is Scary Mommy from Nashville too?” and I was all, “No…she’s from Baltimore….don’t quote me on that, she might actually be from Maryland.”
At which point he schooled me in a quick lesson of our 50 states and I was all, “Hey, I’m a roller skating waitress, not a scientist!”
I’m looking forward to watching the other bloggers dares, be sure to catch all the episodes. Of course I’ll be posting mine here as soon as it’s live…provided there are not any close up shots of my ass in that tutu.
*shudder*
After purposely smashing an ice cream dish on the patio outside I told my son to go to his room, “draw me a picture of how sorry you are!”
I’d say this suffices.
Almost.
1.) Your first born child gets to choose where you eat for dinner…what would they pick and why?
My girl turned nine last week.
Our tradition is that if your birthday falls on a weekday then the birthday kid gets to choose a restaurant for the family that night and the party will happen the following weekend.
This year I was relieved we were able to dodge The Old Country Buffet even if it meant sitting in a very loud Rainforest Cafe for Maile’s birthday dinner. At least it was pretty. And they served margaritas. After listening to Maile tell me about a book she “fell in love with” for nearly TEN minutes, that margarita really was necessary.
The reason Maile chose the Rainforest Cafe has nothing to do with the indoor waterfall, the moving elephants, the giant fish tank, or the impromptu faux rainstorms. It has everything to do with this:
Smart girl.
And I wasn’t kidding about the margarita…you can see it in the bottom right hand corner of that photo.
Her Saturday party was fashioned by the amazing trio at Party On Purpose, cutest site ever! And I’m not just saying that because my sister is one of the trio. Maile chose a horse theme for her party since she’s kind of into those lately and I just cherry picked from their Etsy shop. Since I didn’t need an entire birthday package, they actually let you customize your birthday by selling a la carte. So a birthday banner and cupcake toppers was perfect for Maile’s Saturday skate party. The best part? Party On Purpose donates a portion of all their sales to a custom party package for a child in need. Love.
My girl has gone from loving Care Bears and cupcakes to loving horses and…giant chocolate brownie cakes with ice cream and sparklers apparently.
These days it seems every time I turn on the news there is a girl her age being swiped on her way to school. I’d be lying if I said sometimes I don’t wonder what on earth I was thinking when I decided to bring kids into this mess of a world. I am constantly forcing myself to STOP worrying about all the things that could go wrong and instead take a moment to recognize we’ve survived another day.
Or in this case, another year.
I look at this girl now, nine years old and I know how lucky I am.
Happy Ninth Birthday Maile and cheers to many many-many-many-bajillion-infinity-oh-my-gosh-don’t-ever-leave-me more days together!
(video here)
For Maile:
Happy Fourth Birthday
Happy Fifth Birthday
Happy Sixth Birthday
Happy Seventh Birthday
Happy Eighth Birthday
Laina was barking like a dog in the living room the other day when Pat’s sister was in town.
Laina’s been alive on this planet for 7 years now and of those seven years she’s been obsessed with dogs for…ohhhh…all of them.
Pat’s sister later told Laina, “I heard you barking in the living room and you sounded just LIKE a dog. I thought there might have been two dogs in the house because you imitated it so well.”
Laina was all, “Well that’s cause I love dogs so much!”
And Aunty was all. “You know Laina? I can tell you love all animals. You have a big heart and I see that you love all animals so much!”
Laina smiled, because it’s true and it felt like the kind of thing she might remember forever. You know when things get silent when a person is telling you something important and they just stick with you forever?
The way that Aunty sounded so wise and thoughtful with her words for Laina, I smiled to myself as I felt them sink in.
Not more than five minutes later Laina was all “Mom guess what?” and I was all “what?” waiting for her to tell me about her beautiful heart and her love for all animals.
And then she was all, “I sound JUST LIKE a dog!!”
I’m glad the important lessons are sticking.
4.) Write a list of 10 things you have said to your kids that other moms might not say.
I wish I wrote down every time my husband or I said something so completely ridiculous to the kids in an attempt to either help them understand something, get them to do what we want them to do, or to get them to behave themselves. These are the top ten phrases that have left my mouth so far this week:
1. “If your brother wants to think he has a baby named Pickles than just let him be!”
2. “Go get a band aid for your sister please…they’re in the living room under the couch.”
3. “No, Selena Gomez did not have a baby yesterday after drinking water in Egypt. Your friend is wrong”.
4. “If you don’t brush your teeth right NOW I’m going to come in and lick your face!” (<—doesn’t work).
5. “I don’t know the answer to this, I barely passed third grade. Go ask your Dad”.
6. “STOP tackling the dog!! Our pets are my FRIENDS and you cannot HURT them!”
7. “There are too many people talking at once! My brain is full…READING TIME!”
8. “What do you mean ‘is your medicine in the rice krispy treat’?? Why dontcha eat up and I’ll tell ya…”
9. “When I asked you to bring me the toilet paper I meant like…a roll of it…this square is not going to cut it.”
10. “No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m married to your Dad remember?”