It took years for me to consider what Memorial Day really meant. When you grow up celebrating a break from school and work with a three day weekend and a camping trip, you tend to focus on your weekend plans as opposed to why they are possible to begin with.
In high school and college I kind of got it, we’re supposed to take a day to remember and reflect on the too many Americans who have sacrificed their lives for this country. “CHEERS to the fallen troops and thank you for our holiday…who wants cheese on their burgers??”
If you think about it we should all be required to work straight through the night as opposed to getting time off. Or maybe spend a day shadowing a soldier in the Middle East. I’m not sure what it would take for true understanding and appreciation to occur.
I wish it didn’t take losing a Ben Colgan. The loss of my best friend’s brother rocked too many lives. And he represents just one. One of thousands.
Much of my Memorial Day weekends now are spent thinking about what a stupid, stupid girl I was for never taking a moment to consider families like Ben’s who carry much of the weight of our wars on their shoulders as they work to heal their broken families.
The following message is written on Ben’s gravestone and after seeing it posted on his sister’s Facebook page I thought is was a perfect testimony to the kind of hero we’re missing this Memorial Day…and everyday…in case you needed to be reminded:
“Ben was the bravest, most decent and selfless man I’ve ever known. He led the platoon on more raids and captured more high profile criminals, explosives and weapons than most battalions have. We marveled at his expertise and calm professional approach. I knew we had someone very special when I first met Ben.
He spent 12 years in the Special Forces prior to coming to the Gunner Battalion. He was the Honor Graduate of his Advanced Non-Commissioned Officers Course, Honor Graduate of his Officers Candidate School class, and Honor Graduate of his Chemical Officers Basic Course. He earned the Gold Medal in the Germany Efficiency Badge, graduated airborne and HALO school, and earned jump wings from both Thailand and Germany. Ben crossed over to the Delta side when he served on the WMD breach team.
He never spoke of his past, never bragged, and possessed just an air of being the greatest guy you would ever want to know.
He gravitated to the toughest missions that there were. But he did it with a calm, gentleman’s approach. He took the Survey platoon and made them one of the U.S. Army’s premier raiders. He was just so good at what he did, that you felt safe around him. Ben single-handedly made so much of a difference in Baghdad in the past 6 months, that in time, the world, not just Iraq, will owe him its gratitude. He knew how important this mission is and gave nothing less than 100%.
We’ll always remember him as the quiet, selfless, brave, expert, professional. The greatest guy around. The guy you want living next door to you and your family. This Battalion will continue its mission even more vigilantly than before because of Ben’s memory and spirit will always be with us. Ben, you are our Nation’s finest and you’ve inspired us all to take it to the next level. Rest In Peace.”
LTC William S. Rabena
Battalion Commander
Gigi says
It is so easy to not think about this holiday and it’s meaning when you are younger; especially when there are barbecues, picnics, etc. all vying for attention. It takes growing up to realize the true meaning and the immense sacrifice that some of the service people (and their families) make for us. And if you happen to know the person that made the ultimate sacrifice; well then I think that you understand the meaning and purpose of the holiday far better than others who haven’t experienced that pain and loss on such a deep and personal level.
Annie says
I feel blessed to have known him, even if only for a short period of time… way to recognize the “true” meaning of this day.
Andrea says
That is amazing. So few people REALLY get what it means to live here. Soldiers do, and their families do. My heart goes out to all of them.
Kim says
I don’t think I realized the real meaning of Memorial Day until I attended a ceremony in the town where my mom grew up. The very elderly Gold Star mothers and family members held OLD pictures of their fallen soldiers – even after 40+ years, their pain was evident on their faces.
That’s when I recognized the sacrifice, and appreciated the life-altering changes that the family survivors endured.
Just Jennifer says
Wow. Thanks for sharing this. That is a very impressive headstone for an obviously impressive man.
Nicole @MTDLBlog says
What a lovely tribute and reminder as to what Memorial Day is all about. Thanks for sharing this story again Kat. I remember reading the others you’ve shared about him before.
Jamie Bryant says
This is a very nice post. I was Ben’s roommate in Officer Candidate School. My original roommate quit and Ben came to my door one day and said “you mind if I join you?” We became really good friends over those 14 weeks and every good thing that is said about him is definitely true. My favorite quote from him was “it’s not your shoes that make you run fast, it’s your heart.” I think about him saying that to me when I am running and I always get a mile or two in for him. The world truly lost a hero and all around good man in Ben Colgan.
Bill McNeely says
Ben motivated me to stay at OCS after sickness caused me to be rolled back from prior course and I wanted to give up. I will always be grateful he did. That is why my 7 year old son is named Colgan Benjamine McNeely.