When I told my Mom I wished she had died instead of my Dad I remember her handling it with such grace. I was worried I would hurt her feelings, but she seemed understanding and like she thought maybe I was just saying that because he was the one I couldn’t be with.
And so for most of my life I’ve thought about how great it would be for me to be as graceful and mature of a parent as she is. I’ve prepared myself for the dreaded day one of my kids decide to become a Daddy’s Pet. It’s fine…fiiiiine for them to love him! I ENCOURAGE it! No hurt feelings from me….no sirree!
So last night when the kids were hypothesizing about my make belief divorce from their father and Maile declared she would rather be “living with Dad” if we get divorced…quickly followed by nods of agreement from BOTH her sister and brother…
I’ll have you know I was quite graceful. I channeled my Mother, “Daddy’s so much fun, isn’t he? Of course you would love to be with him, but no need to worry about that!! Daddy and I are going to be married forever remember!?!”
See?
That’s me! Full of grace and maturity!
Even though on the inside I kind of wanted to wash all their mouths out with soap.
Live with their father…OVER MY DEAD BODY.
I wonder if deep down my Mom wanted to wash my mouth out with soap too.
Chris says
I say mentally wash their mouths out, and remind them that eventually most of us males of any species will eat our own young, given time.
(I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but sometimes there are more important things than the truth)
Mama Kat says
Ahhhh words of wisdom. Yes, most of the time I prefer lies so this plan works well.
Stephanie @ The Blue Zoo says
I say let them go live with daddy… they’ll come crawling back before the end of the week! lol And he would be begging you to take them!
Or at least that’s what I told myself when my kids had the same hypothetical conversation.
Mama Kat says
mmmhmmmm….because you KNOW that is exactly how it would play out! They need me dammit!
Angel says
Of course Daddy is more fun, hello we are always the big meanies. Give Daddy a week with them, while you are single and in a quiet house. Take a bath for as long as you want, watch what you want on your tv.. oh see he doesn’t get the house in the divorce.. that my dear would go to you because your business is located in it, much easier for him to get the rinky dink 2 bedroom apartment mmmhmmm. Yep they LOOOOVE Daddy
Mama Kat says
Ha! I might enjoy that mini vacation while they go hungry! ;)
Karen and Gerard says
I wouldn’t even want to have such a conversation with my kids, if I had any. Although, I’m pretty sure in the imaginary world where I would be divorced, I’d get the two cats and my husband would get the dog.
Mama Kat says
That’s probably exactly how the pet division would go here too. Pat likes to claim the dog is his and I just don’t have it in me to fight him on that one!
Rachel says
Now that I’m on my way to parenthood (only 4 months to go!) I’m super worried that I have some bad-kid karma coming my way. I wasn’t a BAD kid, by any stretch. But I definitely said some hurtful things. :(
Mama Kat says
4 months to GO WAHOO! You’ll find that you’ll definitely get back everything you’ve dished out in your life…also? You’ll be paying on karma twice over because your child will need to give Dad paybacks too. Yeah…you’re pretty much screwed. BUT HAVE FUN!
Kim says
I think most kids would say they’d want to live with Dad, because he’s not the one who typically is doing the daily nagging. He swoops in with fun ideas after you’ve spent the time tearing your hair out getting them to get their crap together for the day. He’s the hero, you’re the crabby one.
I guess the real test is who they go to when they’re sick or hurt? Do they yell “Mom!” or “Dad!”…and who do they ask if they can’t find their favorite (fill in the blank) – that person is the big meanie who is doing the ugly job of daily parenting.
Arnebya @whatnowandwhy says
We’ve discussed this silly hypothetical situation before. The boy chooses me immediately (as though he actually understands), the middle girl chooses me but gives her dad a hug and said she’ll see him on weekends if he doesn’t have too many girlfriends taking up his time, and the oldest girl sits and stares from me to him, me to him, me to him, until finally she asks which of you will have the bigger house? I should just leave now.
Jennifer says
My oldest has had this hypothetical conversation before and she always declares vehemently that she would stay with me. It makes me feel sorry for David, but I secretly cheer on the inside that she loves me more. That’s probably wrong.
Andrea says
My kids would both choose me because they can’t stand not to know exactly where I am located every second of every day. Sigh.
Mimi says
I would have been just as graceful as you all the while secretly wondering how I could go into hiding with them, change their identities and wondering how I could brainwashing them into loving me the most!
wendy@chezchloe says
Yeah… wash their mouths out with soap. That will change their minds for sure!
What we should truly appreciate, I think… is their honesty. They don’t say that (at least not yet) to hurt your feelings. It’s just where they are at in the moment. And we know each moment, albeit real, is fleeting.
x
Jen says
Dads…..
I can’t think of anything nice to say so I am not saying anything at all.
Susan in the Boonies says
What grace your Mom had! It is far too easy to think it’s all about me.
But, sadly, it isn’t.
It’s all about you! ;-)
AnnMarie says
We have the “pretend divorce” conversation, too. My youngest son always says my husband because he feels bad for him but truthfully, my daughter would have an easier time since he has more patience for her than me and I have more for my sons than he does. You handled it with so much more grace than I do. :)