This one time I thought I was an animal whisperer. I believed if I was patient enough and spoke in the animals language I could pretty much get the animals to do whatever I wanted.
I predicted my cats impending labor.
I consoled my dog when he was clearly too frightened to climb the stairs to the front yard with my cat sitting at the top step daring him to come closer.
I sat on the front porch with my finger out and whistled to the birds, waiting for them to come down and land on my finger like they might land on a twig. Waiting…waiting…whistling…waiting.
Damn birds were stubborn.
And then I grew up.
Somewhere along the way I lost my ability to communicate with animals, but if I could channel my inner animal whisperer I would ask her to please communicate to my dog that I’d like him to stop climbing onto the dinner table and slobbering all over my food.
It’s really disgusting…and no matter how much of it I wipe clean with my napkin, it still smells an awful lot like dog drool when I finish it.
Deidre says
Ha Ha Ha Ha !!! Get that ol pooch off that table!! EWWWWW! Mine just walks around the table like duck duck goose lying his head on whoevers lap and giving you the oh please wouldnt you love to feed me Im so adorable gaze! I think he thinks HE’S the people whisperer! HA!!!! Hey girly I’m IN LOVE with your header!!!What time will you be serving coctails?lol :)
Classic NYer says
I don’t know anything about dogs, but I know that if a person did that I would slap the hell out of him (because invariably this person would be male).
Maggie S. says
My dog will hop right up on the table. Sometimes just to look around and rule out the possibility of something being on the table.
Erin white says
I love you…lol… Thanks for cracking me up! I think it’s mostly a dog problem… I think my cat gets me :) if my dog got me… He would stop rolling in shit in the yard… He doesn’t need to hide his smell with dead carcasses! Seriously!
Vanessa says
I have nominated you for a versatile blogging award, please see: http://beyondconfessions.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/versatile-blogger-award-take-2/
Thank you for your wonderful blog and beautifully written posts. I thoroughly enjoy reading them.
XOXO
Beyond Confessions