I used to make my cousin Laura do all my dirty work. She’s just a year younger. I don’t know why I felt such seniority over her. I’d hide behind bushes after forcing her to knock on doors of houses occupied by the lonely old widows in our neighborhood and force her to ask them for candy.
I’d smell the chocolate chip cookie goodness taunting me from her mother’s kitchen and I’d make her go back in and steal us a couple. Dozen. Her Mom also bought Ritz crackers that I enjoyed snacking on every now and again. Also stolen.
Thanks Laura.
I don’t know why she continued to love me as loyally as she did. Maybe because where I capitalized in leadership I wavered in athletic ability. Perhaps Laura worked off her “feed Kathy cookies” resentment by throwing in a couple extra jabs on the basketball court as she beat me every time we played….horse.
Fast forward.
Laura and I hooked up to play volleyball for a bit on a hot summer day with some friends. Fresh out of high school we didn’t do any cooler packing or lawn chair hauling. Crap we didn’t own coolers and lawn chairs. We were lucky if there was even enough gas in the car to get us to the park.
After a day of playing we were beyond thirsty. Walked around looking for something to drink. A water fountain? A puddle? ANYTHING! Noticed families celebrating birthdays and reunions and what not.
The sun was scorching.
me: Gotta love these huge family gatherings right?…wonder why our family has never come here to celebrate anything.
laura: Yeah this would be a cool place…GEEZ I’m thirsty.
me: me too.
laura: Do you even have any money??
me: What do I LOOK like?? Some kind of worker??
laura: Dang.
me: (eying a nearby cooler) You know, our family is huge….if we were to have a gathering like one of these, we wouldn’t even notice if someone came over and just…say…grabbed a drink.
laura: Yeah…we’d probably just think it was a second cousin or something.
me: I bet one of these big families wouldn’t even blink if we just happened to slip in and grab a drink.
laura: Probably not.
me: But you have to walk with purpose and really look like you belong.
laura: Wait, you’re serious right now!?!
me: What other OPTIONS do we have Laura?? You have to do this!!
laura: Why do *I* have to do it.
me: Because you’re GOOD at it, you always have been! You can totally pull it off.
And she did.
And. Everyone. Stared.
And we were mortified….but damn that drink tasted good.
Thanks Laura.
I’m fairly certain I can still work my magic with Laura.
Remember that labradoodle I told you I wanted? And how they cost around 2500 hundred from a really reputable breeder? What if Laura and I went to “visit” a litter of labradoodle puppies? Would they REALLY notice if we happened to smuggle one out of there? And by “we” I mean “Laura”?
Mrs Lucia-Wright says
I was a Laura when I was small. I was always the one that got sent to do the dirty work. It filled me with a sense of strange pride. :-)
Serendipity-child says
That is such a cute story, I love it, and the photo really made me smile.
Sadly I was always the one forced to go do things for my friends and family, and I always got in trouble!!
Mama Kat says
My Mom and Aunt were on to me I think…I still got in trouble a lot. :)
Paige says
I used to do this…to everyone on the playground at school. BUT the playground ran like a well-oiled machine. I suppose moving around a lot I didn’t think I had time to cultivate friendships so I just forced them. And it worked. I can’t believe it.
I wonder if that would work in the workplace these days?
Love the photo!
Karen & Gerard Zemek says
I know if a stranger came to my family reunion, i wouldn’t even notice since I would just assume they’re part of the family. I think though if you looked hot and sweaty and very thirsty and just asked them for a drink, they would have probably gave you one.
Mama Kat says
You know after all these years I never really thought of that as an option? And you’re totally right. :)
Karen & Gerard Zemek says
You crack me up! You really never even thought you could have just asked! LOL! People are usually pretty nice, especially when at a picnic in a good mood on a nice day. It never hurts to ask, I always say.
Los says
That’s what little borthers and sisters are for, isn’t it?
BK says
I believe she must have loved you a great deal! :)
kiki says
i had three “lauras” growing up, doing all my dirty work and thievery. my sister and twin cousins did whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted. i demand excellence and devotion from those around me. they never disappointed me and to this day they still worship me. great family picture. i see you and your sis suffered from the same momlikesbowlcuts disease as me and my sis did. i still have flashbacks. at least you both weren’t forced to wear matching smocked dresses.
Mama Kat says
Oh this comment is chalk full of goodness. I think you and I would have really battled it out for the alpha position. With our bowl haircuts. Lord help us.
kiki says
LOL. i believe that if we ever met, we would be instant frienemies since we would both want to be the dominant one in the friendship. i’m the funny one and you’re the pretty one, like, Laverne and Shirley. you’re the best, mama K. have a great weekend.
ps- how is “black eye” doing post-surgery?
3 Men and a Lady says
I had one of those shitty haircuts, too. HATED it. Mom LOVED it. Whoever invented them should be punished severely. Dorothy Hammil, better watch yo back, girl!
trash says
ahem … I wish to throw my hat into the ring for dodgey mother-inflicted bowl-stylee haircuts from the Seventies. And sadly I think I am in with a chance as mine lasted into the 1980s!
June Freaking Cleaver says
I never even thought of doing this. It’s obvious to me that my conniving gene is mutated beyond usefulness.
It’s also resulted in an absolute lack of being convincing when lying – I prefer to put my lies in writing, because then nobody can see my guilt-ridden face.
Stephanie @ Geezees says
Very Funny! There have been a bunch of times when i have been at a park and have thought of doing the same thing, just never had the guts to do it.
Kathy says
I used to be the one they sent to “get” stuff but when I got a little bigger I turned it around and was the boss lol
Erin says
That is awesome! WIsh I had a cousin to boss around!
3 Men and a Lady says
I’m DYING LAUGHING over here at your caption about your sister!!! Bwahahahaha!!! You’re so mean (and funny!) So you actually made her ask for candy? We used to just knock and run away like little aholes.
Mama Kat says
The best part is I had originally cropped the picture so it was just me and Laura…I just couldn’t stand to waste that pretty picture of Lolo. She thought she was such hot stuff! Hahahahahahahaaha….sigghhhhh…and she so wasn’t. :)
dusty earth mother says
Everyone needs a Laura. Maybe the two of you could borrow a labradoodle from some family having a picnic in the park. She could pull it off.
Emmy says
Lol! I wonder what those people were thinking. I never would have been brave enough to do that
Justine says
OMG, you’re so evil! Laura, stage a revolt, woman!
And no, I don’t think you’d get away with sneaking a puppy. But I do wish you’d just cave and BUY one already!
Justine :o )
Lolli says
Your stories are always entertaining, Kathy, but your photo captions are something else. Perfection. You’ve got my chuckling at the computer over here.
Oh, and by the way, when I saw your title, I totally thought that you had dedicated a post to ME. Sad. ;)
Sadie at heyMamas says
OMG!! That photo totally brings me back to memories of summer nights playing kick the can on my dead end street. My memories are so vivid I can almost smell the summer air.
So great!!
Sadie at heyMamas
stephanie says
what a great story. its awesome when we can turn our not so stellar character moments (ie peer pressuring family members into doing something wrong) into fantastic blog stories. there is something about sharing the laugh with others that makes it all feel ok in the end!
Valorie says
Hahah. I was the Laura in my family! That’s a cute story. :)
amanda says
This was a great story. I need to get crackin’ on something about my sisterhood :)
Weekend Cowgirl says
Your photo made me laugh so hard! Adorable story.
Tracy P. says
Hilarious!
Erin says
That’s an awesome story…I think I was the Laura…but I didn’t need anyone to tell me I was just that risky…anything to make me seem like I was bad!
And I’m telling you….Guide Dogs of America….18 month old fully trained labradoodle or golden doodle who didn’t pass their strict standards…400 bucks! Going to SF Bloogy Boot Camp? I’m bring you one! =)
Erin says
That should have said I’LL bring you one! sheesh I hate that when my brain works faster than my fingers type! Stupid fingers!
Stephanie says
Sounds like a good working relationship!
Sarah Ruth says
I am cracking up! LOL!
shauna says
HA!! That’s great- it’s like the younger version of Wedding Crashers :-) Visiting from SITS- Stop by my place when you get the chance- and yippee I am now following you :-)
Foursons says
Bwaahahahahahaha! That is GREAT! How long have you been blogging? You’re just now sharing Laura with us? More…I MUST have more Laura stories!
Angel says
Rofl I was the dirty worker as the youngest anywhere I looked… I left you some Easter blog ideas on my page I think you will love doing. IT’s for charity…
Jenni says
lolz! I was the oldest of 10 cousins, and believe me, I did my fair share of bossing around. I knew that the younger and cuter, the more that he/she could get away with.
stef says
That is too funny! Always better to pass the buck if you ask me. Then when she is really caught, then you can pretend you don’t know her! Genius!!
Peg says
Hey mama Kat!
I have an award for you over on my blog….
Brittany says
OMG if we knew eachother when we were little, we would be in jail by now.
Michelle says
This reminded me of a party crashing story from college. One of my guy friends from high school and I were walking around the fraternity/soroity area of CU looking for a good party and he had this brilliant idea to party crash. He convinced me if the party was big enough and we acted confident enough no one would know we didn’t belong. I honestly couldn’t believe we did it but we did and it was a blast! No one even caught on! Silly, silly!
Pammie says
Cousins. You gotta love them.
rhonda says
Hilairous!!!!!
Stacey says
My daughter’s cousin is three months younger than she is. My daughter is certainly the leader. Or bossy as some call it, but I prefer leader and assertive :o)
Shelley says
When my sister and I shared a room (for the better part of our childhoods) we used to hide in our closet with a flashlight late at night and play. I would make her run downstairs and grab us snacks without being seen by my parents. I still don’t know how they didn’t see her coming and going…