I sit on the sidelines during swim lessons and look at my phone and thumbs up and fake smile, but I am tense and cringing the entire time.
My kids are fearful of water. Plain and simple. I know this about them and I respect it. I have never forced them to step outside their comfort zone until now, because I know swimming is a survival skill they must have and they’re old enough now to understand that.
After describing their level of experience swimming (none), they were put into a class with three other kids under the supervision of one, young instructor.
This must be a summer job for him…he’s awfully young.
As I watch him with the girls I try not to critique his teaching style. He’s young, he’s making some money, and he’s probably the captain of the high school swim team. He’s FINE.
But who taught him how to teach kids to swim? Do they need credentials? Does he understand, sense, or care that all of these kids learn at different levels?
I hush the questions in my head because one of my very best friends was a swim instructor and I know I’m being that parent he can’t stand. It doesn’t take a whole lot of talent to stand in 3 feet of water with kids and keep them alive.
I watched him move the class from 3 feet to 4 feet and even though Laina was at least ten feet behind the group I bit my tongue.
She can do it.
She hip-hopped on her toes keeping her chin just barely above the water. She flailed her arms and tried to keep up. She slowly, but surely found her way back to the group and I exhaled. Five minutes later she was sitting at my side crying. She had swallowed some water, spit up in the pool, and refused to get back in.
Seemed like a lot to expect from her when this was her first time ever moving from one end of the pool to the other end unaccompanied.
Today it was more of the same. I told the girls if there was anything they didn’t want to do, that they were in control of themselves and could simply tell their instructor “no thank you” if they felt uncomfortable. Ironically I want them to have the power to say no, but I’m forcing them to swim lessons when they’ve made it clear they don’t want to go. Color me hypocritical.
Sure enough, when it came time to “swim” from one end of the pool to the other Laina gave her “no thank you” and the instructor told her she could go sit with her Mom.
I wonder if he knows that’s exactly what she wants to do…this really isn’t a punishment if that’s what he’s going for. And I wonder why simply walking to the end or waiting for the next activity isn’t an option for her. Why is the ultimatum “do this exercise or get out of the pool and learn nothing”? He hears a child telling him she’s uncomfortable and she’s being removed. Is there not another exercise she can do until they’re ready to move on?
You know some people just have their own style of teaching. Some people think kids are full of it and that threatening to leave them out will cause them to agree to try. Maybe he thought Laina wouldn’t like the option of sitting out and instead would agree to swimming across the pool. I give the guy the benefit of the doubt even though I’m annoyed that my daughter could be learning something about swimming, but instead is whimpering next to me on the bench.
I go back to pretending not to be a hovering mother. But I’m hovering. In my mind.
The next exercise involves kids pushing off of one wall and swimming to the next. It’s not as far as the entire length of the pool, but when you CAN’T SWIM it doesn’t really make a difference.
Maile takes off second, and he moves down the line to help swimmer #3 and #4…but I keep my eyes on Maile…who is drowning by the way. I’m sandwiched between kids and behind another parent and I see Maile go under and back up. Her instructor is with another child at a different wall and I’m glancing between the two wondering if he’s seeing what I’m seeing. She comes up, flails arms…goes down…comes up, flails arms…goes down, and I see him glance and that “oh shit” look registers on his face.
You know the look.
It’s the same look that registers on your face when you realize you sent a child to time out and thirty minutes later, after finishing the dishes and talking to your mom on the phone, you realize he’s still there.
The “oh shit” face registers, my daughter goes under under under and I go leaping like a mother Gazelle to her young in about .5 seconds flat. Maile starts coughing, dry heaves, and begins to cry. Part of me wants to pull her out at this point, but I realize how important it is for her to hurdle past that scary moment.
When I collected her together in her towel at the end of class she broke down in sobs.
I know the instructor is probably a lovely young guy. Maybe he’s sees things like that a lot and knows it’s all a part of learning to swim. Kids don’t drown in swim lessons. But as a mother? I can’t handle that shit.
And this is me whining like a five year old…I don’t wanna go baaackkk…please don’t make me!
Lisa says
Wow, a “real” swim instructors. I’m impressed, my dad just tossed us into the pool and was like sink or swim bitches. I eventually learned to swim, joined a swim team for 11 years and now that I have a kid am deathly afraid to get into water above my head. Thanks dad.
Lindsay says
“sink or swim bitches!” bahhhhhh haha ha ha! Now THAT’S a swim instructor. Lol!!
Ali says
I was hired as a lifeguard (I thought) when I was in school. I was told I had to teach non Red Cross Classes. I taught children and adults. My mom helped me out with what I needed to do when I taught kids and adults. My place of work was no help. I was cheap labor, who needed a job to pay for school. Thank god for my Mom who was a wonderful teacher, who helped me get through it. I also had a wonderful volunteer, who would help me make sure we kept our group together, and help them with get trough the hills and valleys of swimming. Just because you are a great swimmer does not mean you are a good teacher. Good teachers can become good swimmers hint hint.
Karen @ Time Crafted says
Yea….so not ready for that. And….so know it’s time for that. Sigh…
Eve @beautiful spit up says
This young man sounds like a dope! Nice I’m sure, but definitely not a teacher. How many lessons are left? Maybe you can try again next summer? I honestly have no good advice, my boy is only 15 months!
Sarah says
I don’t think the “sink or swim” approach applies to actually swimming. When you don’t know how to swim, you sink, which is why Swim Lessons were invented. Sounds like maybe the instructor got thrown into the deep end, too, with teaching this class.
A Mommy in the City says
Oh wow. It sounds like he is expecting a little too much out of kids that are terrified of the water. I hate the feeling you get when your kids are doing something you know they are terrified of, but they are doing it for their best interest. Good luck with it! I’m sure their fear of the water will relinquish soon!
OHmommy says
We did group lessons in the beginning and realized fast that it was a waste of money. I found an instructor that did one-on-one survival swimming – turned out to be only $20 more a month. It was a 15 minute class and I actually left the pool because I couldn’t watch. I didn’t give my kids the option of a “no thank you” (I’m mean!) because to me swimming was a necessity.
Having three kids that know how to swim and are safe was the best money I ever spent as a parent. Also. For my sensitive child who cried most during lessons – reminding him that he overcame a fear is also a priceless lesson.
Mama Kat says
I’ve been considering individual lessons! Maybe it’s too much to ask that a young teacher like this guy be so aware of all the different learning style. Gah! I am SO that mom!!
Tina says
Seems to me they may be in the wrong class. Is there a level “down”? Where they learn more like how to tolerate putting their face in the water for a bit or reaching down to pick up rings rather than actually being in that deep of water? Private lessons?
Mama Kat says
My sister had the exact advice! They’ve been grouped according to age, not skill…which may be the first problem. They’ve technically had as much introduction to swimming as their four year old brother and should probably be in the same class as him!
Clare says
Yeah maybe private lessons or maybe a completely different pool/teacher?
Mama Kat says
Yeah…and maybe I shouldn’t be there!!
andrea says
private lessons. not much more $ and well worth your peace of mind and your children’s confidence.
my two eldest had traumatic water experiences while in school and it took a lot of steadfastness on my part to get them past it.
but today? they swim with no fear…and way better than even my own fat ass.
Tina says
Exactly. My kids have been in private lessons ever since we graduated from mommy/me. They get MUCH more attention at the level they need rather than being herded.
Mama Kat says
I’m a terrible swimmer so it won’t be long until they’re swimming better than me too! Great advice friends. :) Thank you!
LB says
Okay, you probably aren’t going to like hearing this. I’m a math teacher, and I see this a lot. You are setting them up for failure. Your disdain for these swim lessons is no different from the kid that comes into my class proclaiming that they suck at math and so does everyone in their family.
I’m sure you mean well. Your kids are taking their cues from you, though! You’ve already planted the seed that they do not have to do this. By telling your child that she can simply opt out of the things she doesn’t feel “comfortable” doing, your giving her a kid’s absolute favorite excuse – “You’re not my parent, and I don’t have to do it.”
I agree in that swimming is a survival skill. Learning to do so is life or death. So being a bit uncomfortable??? Too freakin’ bad! Suck it up, and get your butt back in the pool. She’ll thank you later.
As much as I love you, I think you’re wrong on this one. When my kids took lessons, the teacher actually made us leave the area during class. You may want to consider doing that as well. I bet your girls will perform much better without you around.
Sarah says
I’ve also found that leaving the area works better for me. The good news– our swim lessons at the indoor pool give me the chance to hit the elliptical machine in the gym upstairs. Win-win! I’m sure the teacher likes the fact that I’m not hovering– which I desperately want to do, since my child has no fear and will do anything…
Tina says
I agree. I dropped off then went somewhere else in the building.
Caren says
I am a swim instructor and while I agree with both of these comments in most situations, this swim instructor does NOT sound competent. There should never be an “oh shit” look on a swim instructor’s face… ever!
It sounds like the level may in fact, be too difficult for your girls if they have no swim experience, From what you wrote, it doesn’t really sound like there is a lot of instruction going on either. Is there an Aquatics Director you can talk to?
As for telling the instructor, “no thank you,” it’s true, you are setting them up for failure… assuming the child has the capability to actually DO the task being requested. I insist that students go under water and get their faces wet and I “help” them to do it if they won’t do it on their own, but actual swimming is a totally different story.
Lastly, I would say that your children are exactly the children who NEED swim lessons, my child was very similar when I started him (at 3) and now, at 7, he is ready for the swim team and I feel confident that he is safe. We didn’t have to go the route of private lessons but I agree that might be a great way for you to get them instruction they need.
Good luck!
Mama Kat says
I DEFINITELY need to leave the pool! This is all great advice. Still not sure I think giving my kids the power to say no is a bad thing (yet). I have that kids feel like they have to do exactly what they’re told just because an adult says so. I don’t want them to be brats (and they’re really not), but I do want them to feel empowered to stand up and say no if they’re not comfortable…that being said…perhaps swim lessons is not the best practice for that empowerment.
Jodi says
Bring them to Minnesota–just the price of a plane ticket and we’ll throw in the swim lessons for free. No-drowning guarantee.
Jodi says
BTW-Chris would be the first one to jump in the pool after his own kid in that situation. He’s become his own worst nightmare.
Marie says
I agree!
-MM
Mama Kat says
I almost CALLED Chris just so he could tell me I’m over reacting and being an idiot. And also to see what was protocol when you guys were instructors. Isn’t it strange that a swim teacher would have four kids off the wall and swimming in different directions? Maybe he thought they could all touch the bottom? It wasn’t THAT deep…just too deep for Maile.
Gah…parenting is giving me a heart attack.
Marie says
I grew up on a lake and learned to swim at a very young age. I’m comfortable in the water, but that goes with the territory. I took swim lessons too, and just last winter, we put our 3-year-old in parent/child lessons. We had a great experience; the teacher explained that forcing kids to do something that they aren’t ready for only makes them afraid of the water. I hope that you’ll find another instructor who is capable and sensible. If I could, I would teach your girls, one toe in the water at a time, if necessary.
Sarah says
I’ve had great experiences and less-than-great experiences with swim lessons and my sons. My older son is very uptight about the water. We had better luck helping him feel comfortable on our own– and he hates listening to us! My younger son has no fear, and loves a challenge. His current teacher can say something like, “Oh, I don’t know, you’re only eight, I don’t think you can.” and Ant thrives on showing he, in fact, can do it. I would suggest looking into semi-private or private lessons. It can be really pricey, so watch out, but sometimes you can find an experienced pro who ‘gets’ your kids and their skill level, and the one-on-one attention will also make you feel better!
Mama Kat says
Your younger son sounds a lot like Kainoa! Now THAT kid I do not need to worry about one bit. He loves the water!
Sara Plays House says
Yikes, this is not the right instructor for you guys. We tried lessons at the Y that were taught by a 17 year old. He was in charge of 7 flailing toddlers and it was a disaster. We’ve been MUCH happier with the smaller classes at Aqua-Tots. And yes, all the instructors go through training.
I DO believe that you have to push them to get them over their fear. But I don’t think that means allowing them to pseudo-drown like this instructor did.
If you have an Aqua-Tots nearby, I would strongly recommend calling them and seeing how they can help you I know how it is to be the mom on the sidelines with the kid who’s freaking out. I know how that makes a person feel. But I also know how it feels to be the mom on the sidelines with the kid who finally GETS it and is swimming around like a fish. You’ll get there too!
Mama Kat says
I’ve never heard of aqua-tots, but fully agree with your sentiments! These classes may not be right for us and you’re so right, the pseudo drowning should not be the push. Dipping their heads under water I can insist on…pseudo drowning from one wall to another? No thank you.
Megan Garrison says
I would speak to someone regarding their lovely “teacher” – His methods are all backwards- you teach them how to swim so they DON’T sink- and you don’t leave them “alone” until you are 100% confident that they know how to handle the situation by themselves. I was a lifeguard and swim teacher for littles, and this post makes me mad!
Mama Kat says
Thank you! I go between feeling mad and just feeling kind of sorry for the guy. He’s doing the best he knows how and he’s very nice to the kids. I just don’t think he’s been equipped to teach them well.
Jennifer says
My kids know how to swim and I didn’t take them to swimming lessons. We have one of those 4 foot deep above ground pools that we set up every year that the kids swim in. We showed them the basics of how to swim and let them “practice” on their own. Now they are all strong swimmers and very confident in the water.
I, however, did have swimming lessons as a kid and the swim instructor was one of those that believe in throwing kids that don’t know how to swim into the deep end of the pool (12 foot deep, mind you) and watch them flail around and eventually flail to the side of the pool. I freaked. I cried. My mom MADE me go back. And I had a great time and learned to swim.
Mama Kat says
Maile has shown a LOT of growth since she started, so I’m feeling optimistic that we can continue lessons without any freak out sessions. Here’s hoping we can do so without any more sinking.
And I totally grew up with the same kind of pool you describe for your kids! SUCH a great way to learn at your own pace!
Ann says
Wow – I wish I had the right thing to say to make it all better. I’m guessing he doesn’t understand anyone being fearful of water…. I wish I could sit with you and hold your hand – but I’d probably be jumping in the water right after you!
Mama Kat says
Shoot just meet me for coffee and let’s avoid the pool altogether!
Arnebya says
I can’t swim. My girls can’t swim. I signed up for swim classes last month and this week they’re in a two-week swim camp. (http://whatnowandwhy.blogspot.com/2011/05/aqua-boogie.html). Um, 2 wks later I lied and told them my class was canceled b/c at class #2 the very young instructor expected us to actually go under and kick. You know, like swim. I’m sorry, what? This is level 1, class #2. I can barely go under and you want me under and kicking? I’ma need a refund (I’m fearful like your kids). I want to learn to swim, I do. I want them to learn. I want to not be so afraid at them in the water (mainly b/c I know there ain’t shit I can do if they start to drown other than jump in…and drown my damn self). Drop-off at camp today was hard b/c I looked at that huge pool, looked at my oldest girl, saw how wide her eyes were, felt her move closer to me (as I inched closer to her b/c I was imagining a scene like you just described) and I said you can do this. And I left. Because I couldn’t bear to stand there and see her face b/c it was clearly saying I so can’t do this (and I’m a hypocrite b/c I couldn’t even do it). And now I’m at work hoping it’s going ok b/c those camp counselors are young and don’t seem all that caring that she not only can’t swim, but she’s afraid.
Mama Kat says
Bless your heart, this comment cracked me up and struck a chord all at the same time! I felt the same way when I saw how quickly they were progressing from one thing to the next! I’m proud of you for pushing your daughter forward!!
Rambling Follower says
For our sons, it was habituation, habituation, habituation. Do you have a pool you can hang out at this summer? Play games in the pool?
Also, is this young man certified? There are Red Cross certifications for this.
Good luck!
Mama Kat says
I’m pretty sure he’s certified…and we SEMI have a pool we can use this summer. My sister invites us to use hers whenever she’s around so we try to get over there often!
jeri says
Ask a grown-up at the pool ( a manager?) about this boy’s certification & qualifications as a swim instructor. Our youngest 2 are taking lessons right now. I figured out a long time ago that the children are much less likely to come wimpering to Dad mid-lesson, so I send my husband to the pool when ever possible. However, a near-drowning swim lesson would be our last with that instructor. He is moving too fast for your children.
Mama Kat says
I agree! Definitely too fast.
Kimmy says
I would check with a manager about this instructors credentials. It sounds like the amount of children he has, is too much for him to handle. I had my daughter in swim leassons 5 yrs ago and it helped but we only did it for a yr, maybe two? Can’t remember. I personally though, would teach her but I don’t know how to swim. lol I can doggy paddle and float so I guess that’s all that matters. My husband has tried to teach our daughter and now that my parent’s have a pool, she’s getting a lot of practice and is almost ready to go! Good luck with this, I know how nerve wracking it can be.
June Freaking Cleaver says
I had a swim instructor like that. Asked me to swim across the deep end, and I told him I couldn’t. I did it anyway…and he had to dive in and save me. He bitched about getting his class ring wet.
I got demoted to the beginner class and then went through the entire Y program in a year, I’d show him.
With my girls, I took them to Red Cross classes – the teacher was wonderful, and you could try a stroke then float on your back until you were ready to flip over and try some more. They became capable swimmers.
And I agree with other commenters, you need to get out of the area during class. The instructor should make them sit on the side of the pool, so they can see the other kids succeed, and maybe make your daughters want to give it one more try.
You should not be there to give them the ultimate out. Nobody excels when they first try ANYTHING…it all takes practice. If you acted that way with walking, you’d scoop them up before they fell, even one time.
Let them learn, let them have success under their belts. See them smile with pride, even it’s just them being able to put their head under water and blow bubbles without fear.
Mama Kat says
My best friend just told me a very similar story! Her instructor asked her to dive to the bottom of the pool to retrieve a coin. My friend said it was too deep, but the instructor made her do it. She got to the bottom, looked up, and just gave up with a “see I told you it was too deep” attitude and the instructor had to save her. I laughed…can’t believe she was ready to full on drown just to prove a point! Haha!
Marie says
How do you have time to read all of your comments? And do you care? I’m curious. I’m lucky if I get just one comment on my blog.
-MM
Mama Kat says
Well in this case it’s 12:30 am, but RARELY do I wait this long to jump in. It’s been a busy day.
Just keep posting, commenting, networking…it takes time and effort, but if you put yourself out there it will come back to you!
Vinobaby says
I must be a truly evil mother. Since we are surrounded by water and have a pool in our yard, Kiddo has been in swim lessons since he was 6 months old. He really learned to swim at about 2 1/2. I remember handing him off to the swim instructor (who happened to be the coach of our Nationally ranked H.S. swim team) and listening to the little guy scream for the full 20 minutes. And I kinda smiled. For once, I wasn’t the cause of his wrath. And I knew he’d get over it…and after a few lessons he was fine. He is now a fish. The bit of fear/discomfort was worth it.
Mama Kat says
I think you’re a brilliant mother! Starting them early before they develop a fear for it is definitely the way to go!
Phase Three Of Life says
Poor things! (All of you!) I was that kid who was scared to learn to swim. I still am scared of deep water. I know enough to not drown, but I’ll never be fearless in water. I think you’re handling it the best way you can. I hope that guy gets his act together.
Mama Kat says
That’s ALL I want! I just want them to learn enough to survive, should it come to that. I’m like you…definitely not the best swimmer and totally fine with that. But I can stay afloat!
Mrs. Jen B says
I don’t understand how letting a child flounder and feel like they’re drowning is teaching them to swim or even to be comfortable in the water. I totally understand how you feel. Maybe this class just isn’t for them?
Kim says
I understand the point of learning how to swim, it’s a survival skill. But what I don’t understand is how some instructors approach the method of learning: “swim or sink.” I am so glad you’re helping your daughters learn how to swim at their own pace. I’ve met so many people who were forced to step out of their comfort zone, and as a result they developed such a phobia of water and swimming that it took them years to learn how to swim. It sounds like that instructor needs an assistant. My dad volunteers as an assistant for a 3 and 4 year old swim class and even with two adults in the water it is hard for them. I hope it gets easier, better for you and your children :)
Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. says
Find an instructor you like. Yes, your girls have to learn to swim. It is a life skill. But they should feel comfortable and enjoy it in the end. Maybe private lessons?!?!
stef says
Oh man. Punk kid!
This year I put 3 of my kids in a private classes and let me say, not much better. My oldest wasn’t pushed…AT ALL. My middle one learned quite a bit, actually. But my 5 year old learned how to put his head under the water. That’s it. She would let him hold onto her neck while she walked around. It was pathetic. Sigh…..
Jennifer says
I almost drowned in swim lessons when I was your girls age. And then my momma almost killed a swim instructor.
Here the swim instructors don’t let you go back when they are teaching the kids. At least not the ones that I’ve found. I had a friend that was teaching my daughter very slowly because first she has to get over her fear, and then she can learn to swim. Unfortunately she moved.
Cheryl @ Mommypants says
We are going to a woman who is known as the “swim nazi.”
And with good reason. The moms are more afraid of her than the kids (we are not allowed to even give a thumbs up). My daughter cried through the first two lessons. Another girl raced off the pool deck, through the gate and out onto the sidewalk (the lessons are at the woman’s pool). The mom had to bring her back kicking and screaming and then the teacher threw the kid in the pool.
But you know what? At the end of 4 weeks, all the kids can jump off the diving board and swim across the pool.
It’s crazy. But it worked.
Mama Kat says
Oh my LORD! I couldn’t stomach it…even with the great results! That’s crazy!
Carri says
Oh no… That’s terrible! It sounds like there are too many kids in that class. There’s no way one instructor (a shoddy one at that) can watch all of those kids safely. What would have happened if you weren’t there?
I know it’s expensive, but you should really think about private lessons. They are very short – 20 minutes at the most – and there isn’t lag time between the students.
Poor kids. No wonder they hate swim class. I would hate it, too!
gina says
L and I did mommy and me classes at a few places and I watched the big kids all the time, worrying about this exact thing happening. We ended up finding an AMAZING deal on private lessons ($10 per 45 minute one on one lesson) and he has learned to swim this summer. He actually jumped in the pool forgetting his life vest on the 4th of July, and got himself to the edge. So maybe ask around and find some reasonable private lessons? Or move to St. Louis and I’ll hook you up with my girl?
Sara Stapleton says
As a swim instructor, I always think it is harder on the parents watching than it is on the kids. If I can defend this instructor for just a minute…the last situation with your daughter having trouble in the water is one of the reasons that he may have sent your other daughter to sit with you. It is really hard when you are by yourself to keep a watchful eye on all of the students, especially if they are young or not strong swimmers. I often have my students get out of the pool and sit on a bench or on the side and wait for the next activity. I think it is great that you let her work past her fear…she will be a stronger swimmer because of it. I also agree with several other comments that suggest private lessons….most effective way to teach to kids who are scared or who are older yet don’t know how to swim. Good Luck to your girls!
Mama Kat says
Thank you! I’m definitely going to look into private lessons and I’m definitely NOT going to sit in the sidelines! Painful!
kristi says
it’s true, swimming is a necessity. so much so, that my college required everyone pass a swimming proficiency test before graduation. there were plenty of people who could not jump in from the side of the pool & swim about 25m in some form of front stroke. it was pure terror for many 20-somethings. not that your kids will go to that same college, but please don’t let this bad experience be your last try at swimming. find a friend who has a pool and try private lessons. MUCH better option!
K A B L O O E Y says
Trust your gut. This kid is not experienced enough to be teaching your kids. I agree with everyone that they should learn, and sooner rather than later, but hey. Trust yourself and stop the lessons with this guy. And do find out if he’s certified before someone gets scared for life or worse.
cam says
i wasn’t a fan of my swim lessons as a 9 year old (sucky teacher) and i can’t swim now. i hope your daughters’ lessons get better over time and they get the hang of it. that’s got to be so hard to watch your kids try to get over their fears.
Jen says
Keep at it. It will get better.
Kir says
Holy crap….I mean, I am not a hovering mother, but I know that :LEAP LIKE A GAZELLE ” pose, I’ve got it down pat.
I know how important it is to get them to swim lessons, to have them comfortable in the water…but that doesn’t mean we’ll be comfortable watching them get there.
HOLY CRAP…sending virtual chocolate…until the lessons are better/over. ;)
LADY GOO GOO GAGA says
Swim lessons were invented by the devil. I resorted to private lessons this year – which was still torture – but at least now – everyone can swim!!!!! And I can read US Weekly on the beach :)
Michelle says
I read some of the comments then got bored and decided to leave my own to say the same thing as everyone else. It’s hard letting someone else be in charge of our kids while we’re sitting right there especially when they seem like a moron who has no clue what he’s doing because he’s about 12 and has no experience teaching. Yep I’m in that boat too. But the difference is my kids love the lessons and are doing alright otherwise I’d be “that mom” that pulls my kids out and tries another route. Lower level, private instruction, something, but it has to be something you cant just let them not do it all together.
kateh says
Alright, as long time reader, but also as swimmer, swim instructor, swim coach when I was in high school and college – I’m going to have to go with the math teacher on this one. The number one thing not to tell the girls is that they can opt out of the activities. Now, this local place should be separating by level, not age, but that can sometimes hurt the self esteem of older kids that just don’t have as much experience in the water. Private lessons, at least until they have caught up with the rest of their age group, are the way to go. When I taught lessons at a public pool, we often offered these services separately so that the girls would even learn with the same teacher they will be going back to. Stick with it – swimming is a very important life skill that you want them to have. Learning only gets harder as you get older!
Ann says
Wow, it’s so interesting to hear all the different approaches! Kat, I too am the mother who is totally honed into what’s happening with my kid(s) during swim lessons. :) Like my mother always said, “only a child’s mother is going to be that watchful, perhaps growling, mother wolf protecting her cub.” So, I’m fine acting on situations where I don’t think my kid(s) are completely safe. I too have a daughter who was very fearful of water when she was young. When she was 2, we did the ‘Mommy and Me’ type of classes…it was more like playtime rather than swim lessons as she just wanted to be held so she could splash. Then at 3 & 4 years of age, we tried a class. Like you, it too advanced for my daughter’s skills and the teacher had way too many other kids to keep track of. We stopped going after the 2nd lesson, and got her a good lifevest and encouraged her to ‘dog paddle’ every time we made a family trip to a pool that summer. When she turned 5, I hired a private instructor…she had come highly recommended from a local gym, and she had a pool in her backyard. Very nice lady, but as I watched, my daughter was still VERY scared about going under water, ‘blowing bubbles’ and floating on her back. We tried it 3x with this lady and each time my daughter cried all the way home saying she did not want to do it again. I figured she still wasn’t ready–and I certainly didn’t want associate stressful experiences with water. So, we stopped and did the same lifevest/’dog paddle’ practice in pools over the remainder of the summer. When she was 6, we got her the goggles that cover both the eyes & nose and I taught her how to breathe thru just her mouth. As you can imagine, she had gotten pretty good at ‘dog paddling’ with her life-vest on, now she feel more confident about putting her face underwater with these larger goggles (the ‘eye only’ goggles always leaked and she liked how her didn’t have to pinch her nose close). ANYWAY, she is 7 now and this summer has been FULL of swimming for her! She dosen’t use her life vest anymore, she wears her full goggles and swims under water all the time! Even though we make her stay in water where she can touch (4′ or less), she loves to swim down to the bottom to retrieve her rings and does front and back flips underwater. :) Also, she use to be so afraid of water getting into her eyes during bathes and showers–now there is no issue at all! It’s almost as though she had to mature a bit more (and see/experience the pressure of friends saying how they could ‘swim’) before she was ready overcome her water fear. So, now that she is EAGER to swim, we will be doing the swim lesson thing this year (private since the attention is better). I want this instruction to help her in deep waters. Anyway, my point is I think children will let you know (by their behavior) when they are ready for the next ‘level’. As for my son, he’s 3 years old and TOTALY different. He’s ready to swim, so he can keep up with his big sister! Bottom line: Do what feels right for each kid’s personality. :) Good luck!