When I was ten I used to take my time and carefully lick the cheese off of each individual slice of pepperoni on my pizza and then set it on the furthest edge of my plate.
I didn’t like pepperoni, but I was not about to waste all that cheesy slightly saucy goodness.
My older sister loved pepperoni and would ask me for my pile.
I gladly obliged and watched her eat each slice. One. By. One.
This happened for years.
She had no idea.
In high school I LOVED my little sister’s blue and yellow Nike warm up sweats. So did she. They rarely left her body, but when they did I would ask to borrow them. Too often she said no.
I had no choice, but to take the pants whenever the chance presented itself.
I wore them to volleyball practice. I jumped and dove and ran and played in them. I came home dripping in sweat and quickly removed the pants so she would not see that I had taken them.
Steam and the fresh scent of Dial poured from the bathroom as she emerged fresh and clean from her shower…wearing the blue and yellow Nike warm up pants I had on just minutes before. Sweaty. And gross.
She had no idea.
In college I came home to a family dinner. We reminisced and laughed about the “rough times” of our childhood. How Mom would save money on water by giving three kids baths at different times in the same water.
Baby would take her bath first. Soap up. Get out. Dry off. PJ’s on.
Then my brother would have his turn. Maybe turn on the hot water for just a minute to warm up what was left of Baby’s bath. Soap up. Get out. Dry off. PJ’s on.
Then it would be my turn. Again with the warm up of the old water. Soap up. Get out. Dry off. PJ’s on.
We laughed about how gross it would be to take a bath in someone elses bath water.
And then I confessed.
I confessed that every once in awhile…if I reeaaaallly had to go…I’d just pee right there in the tub.
Everyone laughed and icked at my confession.
And then another confession…
Baby laughed and said she peed too. All the time.
Everyone laughed and icked at her confession, except for me. I just kind of stared as I slowly realized what that meant.
And then another confession….
My brother looked slightly disturbed and then met me square in the eye and said he peed too. All the time.
Everyone laughed and icked again at his confession, except for me. I just kind of stared and dry heaved a bit as I realized I spent years of my childhood taking baths filled with my brother and sister’s urine.
I had no idea.
Jen says
so stinkin’ funny. . . .literally