Laina’s reaction to the sight of me cleaning when she came home from school yesterday…
Nice.
Laina’s reaction to the sight of me cleaning when she came home from school yesterday…
Nice.
Pat and I agreed we’re done having kids. Even though I wrote him a letter asking him to reconsider and he wrote me back basically saying he would not.
We’re at a good place. I know this. Our kids are old enough to do stuff and we’re done with diapers and bottles and interrupted sleep and this is the family time we’ve been looking forward to!
Life is so good.
But then my sister had to go and have a baby in December and well…something happened. I blame it on the shock of black hair. None of my nephews or nieces have been born with that kind of hair…only my kids. Only my babies look like that.
So when I saw this baby I had the natural “oops! It looks like you gave birth to one of my children, I suppose I’ll be taking her home with me…better luck next time” reaction that any normal mother would have.
Unfortunately hospitals don’t like you to take babies without some sort of release and my breast milk hadn’t come in yet, so I had no choice but to leave my baby with my sister. And since my sister seems kind of attached to her I have no choice but to recreate her myself.
But my husband is all “whoa whoa whoa, what happened to the ‘good place’ we’re at? And no diapers or bottles or sleepless nights?? What happened to the no more babies plan??”
And I was all “so. how married are you to that plan?? I mean, that’s our baby! We just have to have her.”
And he was all “I’m pretty married to it. And I’m pretty sure you can’t re-give-birth to a baby that already exists.”
And I was all “Oh come one! I’ll take of her myself! You don’t even have to look at her. I’ll feed her and change her and sing songs to her and…”
And he was all “No.”
And I was all “Like…percentage-wise…how sure is that no?”
And he was all “Like 99.9999999999999999999% sure”.
And I was all “Sooooooo…you’re sayin’ I have a chance?”
And then he walked away.
He does that when I start quoting Dumb And Dumber.
3.) Drunk.
Looking back I don’t really understand it. Maybe this is what growing up is all about…you suddenly start using your brain. Why does it take 30+ years to realize that getting wasted every weekend is not all it’s cracked up to be?
And in some cases…we’re still learning.
“Finals are over!! I’m so glad, what are we doing tonight I need to get wasted!!”
or
“I’m fighting with my boyfriend, OMG let’s just go out and get wasted!!”
or
“I brushed my hair, LET’S GO GET WASTED!!”
We really didn’t need a reason. And it was always the same thing. We would meet up for drinks at one of our apartments, try on a thousand different outfits before choosing the perfect tight top, spend an hour on our hair and make up, and listen to Snoop Dogg while drinking horrid concoctions of punch and vodka that consisted of far too little punch and far too much vodka.
We would spend hours chatting and giggling and primping all in an effort to look perfect for our fun and crazy night out on the town. We would proceed to go out, make ourselves sick, stumble back into our apartments, and spend the rest of the next day barely lifting our heads from the floor to eat cold pizza and watch re-runs of the Real World. A reality tv show that followed seven of our peers doing the exact same thing in a different place but having a whole lot more sex.
At least we weren’t having sex.
That made what we were doing pretty admirable, no?
What I don’t get now, in my very wise age, is why in the world we spent so much time looking forward to, planning, prepping, spending money, and just plain giddy about a night that would ultimately leave us feeling sick.
“Finals are over!! I’m so glad! What are we doing tonight I need to throw up!!”
or
“I’m fighting with my boyfriend, OMG let’s just go out and puke!!”
or
“I brushed my hair, LET’S GO GET SICK!!”
Why did we not put these strange puzzle pieces together? Hmmm…when I go out and drink until I forget how to swallow, I wind up feeling worthless and lonely on my bathroom floor! How about Scrabble tonight instead!?!
I plan to share these thoughtful lessons with my children to help them avoid making the same mistakes I did.
When they turn 21 and think about celebrating with 21 drinks and a group of wild friends…you bet I’m going to bust out the board games,
“you youngsters don’t want that poison in your bodies…believe ME! Maile pour these good people some milk, Kainoa bring in that tray of cookies, Laina roll that dice! YAHTZEE!”
******************
2010 was a great year and here’s why…a compilation of my favorite posts and photos from each month of the year.
January:
Just seeing this post again brought back those heebie jeebies…and no. They have not had more babies.
My favorite January photo is this one, from a trip to Hawaii that I did not get to go on. Instead Pat went with strict instructions to take as many photos of his family as possible. I have to tell him to take as many as possible because three quarters of them come back like this:
February:
While writing this I was looking for a serious pat on the back after surviving my first 100 days of a child at school. What about the parents!?!
My favorite photo is of my favorite little Valentine. Scrumptious he is.
March:
My post about a mother’s guilt that just doesn’t go away.
My favorite photo is this picture of Laina making her way through a snow covered forest.
April:
I wrote about why having babies is harder for me then it is for other people. Clearly.
My favorite photo is of our good friend Rudy the Labradoodle. We sure miss this guy!
May:
I posted a video of Maile secretly making a vlog when she was supposed to be in bed. I died laughing when I actually listened to what she was saying!
And I love these little girl feet. My kids love spending time with their cousin!
June:
It took years of “not caring”, but I finally made the The High School List and naturally had to write about it.
My favorite photo is this one of the girls being the loving little creatures they are.
July:
When you’re seven and your Dad dies it really sucks…but you’ll end up with posts you really like. So that’s good.
I love this photo of Kainoa finally doing something useful around here.
August:
I loved touring my old neighborhood and writing about all the things that made me…me.
My favorite photo…errr…collage is this one of the family on a strawberry picking excursion.
September:
A post where my brother gave great advice to my nephew about girls.
I love this photo of Laina getting on the school bus…don’t ask me why all my favorite photos of Laina are of her walking away from me. I really do love her.
October:
I wonder if Pat regrets not appreciating me when I was single and childless and un-distracted. This poem I wrote perfectly captures that ironic twist in our relationship. Love you darling.
The only reason this photo is my favorite of the month is because it’s a rare occasion where our family is all together in a photo and none of us are screaming. WIN!
November:
Ahhh, my sweet girl. Sometimes Laina just makes me all warm and happy on the inside. At the end of the day, these are the posts I enjoy re-reading.
And I love this picture of the new little fella we brought into our home. Jack sure is special!
December:
I really should listen to her, but sometimes living simply is easier said than done…so I write about it instead.
And finally I love this picture of me and Kainoa because he’s a trouble maker, and I love him. I feel like it really captures his rambunctious spirit along with my hesitant face, like “oh geez, what are you going to do to me now?” How can you not love that face?