The smile was knocked right off my face, however, when I entered the bathroom. At the sink I saw a couple women freshening up, but one quick scan of the bathroom stalls stopped me dead in my tracks.
Those shoes.
I knew those shoes beneath that middle stall.
My heart pumped wildly…I glanced quickly behind me. Was this a dream? Could that be who I thought it was? Was this really happening? I felt confused and panic stricken.
I’d recognize those shoes anywhere. Blue with an adidas symbol on each side. In the six years of my short life, he’d never changed them.
He.
In the girl’s bathroom.
I walked back out of the bathroom to study the symbols on the door. Was I in the men’s bathroom? My Dad did not make such mistakes.
I walked back into the bathroom. The shoes showed no sign of movement.
“Ahem……um…..Daaaad???”
The sound of my voice in what he thought was the girl’s bathroom threw him for a loop.
“Huh? What? Kathy is that you?”
“Dad, I think you’re in the girl’s bathroom…”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No Dad. I’m not…the boys bathroom is next door I think.”
“Well I’ll be…shoot.”
“Ahem.”
“Okay Kathy…here’s what we’re gonna do…you go stand outside the door and wait okay?”
“Sure Dad! Okay!”
“And Kathy?”
“Yeah Dad?”
“Whatever you do…DON’T go tell Mom.”
“Okay Dad I won’t”
But I was never much of a rule follower. It took me about 30 seconds standing in front of that door to realize that a.) I couldn’t stop anyone from going in, b.) Standing in front of the door was boring, and c.) a funny story is no good unless it can be shared with EVERYONE…starting with MY MOM!
I ran back to the table, thrilled with this juicy bit of gossip I had to share, “Mom? Mom. MOM! Guess what!?!”
“Oh Kathy, I don’t have time for this…here’s your burger, sit down please…”
“No but MOM!!! It’s Dad…” I looked around to be sure I had the attention of the entire family…”He’s in…” yes they were all looking and waiting for the clincher…”THE GIRL’S BATHROOM!!!”
Mom’s response was a muffled laugh and a “oh no he is not!” that was answered with an “Oh he most certainly IS!”
“Okay everyone, you wait here…I’m going to help your Dad and we’ll back in just a minute.”
What happened next my mother can only say for sure, but I’ve heard the story enough times to know that it involved my Dad holding his feet off the floor as women came and went, my Mom talking to him in a loud “there’s nothing unusual going on in here I swear” voice, and one very confused couple who happened to be standing outside the door when all 6+ feet of my Dad finally emerged.
Mom describes herself as Dad’s lookout man. Her sole purpose was to notify him when the coast was clear of primping women. But I think the fact that she stood at his door cooing, “is everything okay in their Kathy?? Sweetie do you need some help?” says she was having a bit of fun at her husband’s expense. Which is probably exactly why he didn’t want me running to tell her that he was in there in the first place.
When things settled down in the bathroom, my Mom and Dad hurried out only to run into a young couple of lovebirds. My Dad leaned over to them and in his most intimidating voice whispered “you didn’t see anything thing…did you pal?” Like anyone is going to argue with a big bald dude exiting a girls bathroom. It’s cool dad…your secrets safe with them.
When they came back to the table I was thrilled to see my Dad had survived the ordeal and eagerly soaked in every last detail of his embarrassing plight so that I could someday tell his story on my blog.
Friday Night FUN didn’t get much funner than that my friends.
Matty says
Excellent surprise. I didn’t see that one coming. Great story my friend….and I can only imagine the embarrassment involved.
Jen says
Nice.
Embarrassing stories about your parents make the best Friday FUN night.
But it makes me wonder, what will my children tell about me?
Tara says
Awesome story! I loved it and so did not see it coming!
If only Ihad stories like this to embarrass my parents.
Cari says
Haha. Loved it! Isn’t it great when YOU have the embarrassing story for once?
KIr says
oh I thought it was going to be the gym teacher you hated or the caferteria lady…
BUT this was so much better. I love when our fathers look/act human, when they make a mistake (not a big one, but one that is funny and familiar) and then we can share it with the whole world. I LOVED this.
Jennifer says
Oh no. I just realized that one day our kids are going to blab stories like this about us. Good thing I’m sitting down.
Kate@SurroundedbyPenises says
bahahahahaha! I love me some adidas samba’s. And OF COURSE you had to tell yo mama.
Also loving the red background, btw
Jessica says
The suspense is finally over. I can’t believe your Dad ended up in the girl’s bathroom.
Jennifer G. says
Too funny! I think if I saw my dad’s shoes in a girls’ bathroom stall I would die on the spot. My dad’s a little bizarre. Your dad must be cool since he sports such stylin’ wheels!
Pattyann says
Totally love that one! I always love to tell stories about my kids, and they love to tell ones about me too! Hopefully, there are none quite as good as that one in my past!! I don’t know if I could have ever managed to come back out into the restaurant!!
Cousin Erin says
Love that story! AND the picture below :)
Alicia @MommyDelicious says
HAHAHA!!!! Thats so hilarious!
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation says
Ha! Your poor Dad…he must have been so embarrassed!
C... says
Poor man! But that is funny.
Elena says
Haha! I love it! What a fun, embarrassing story!
Ginny in Seattle says
“The sound of my voice in what he thought was the girl’s bathroom threw him for a loop.” Shouldn’t that read BOY’S bathroom?
camesha says
nice story! I love it.
Georgia Girls says
LOL . . . a story with a lot of mileage yet to go!