5. Share something you miss from before you were a mom.
I miss living guilt free. I don’t think I experienced guilt at the level I do not before I had kids. Now I feel guilty for all the things. I feel guilty for saying no, I feel guilty for leaving, I feel guilty for yelling, I feel guilty for spoiling.
And not only do I feel guilty for those sort of daily issues, but I also carry guilt for all of the past issues. I feel guilty for making them cry it out, I feel guilty for pushing them into preschool early, I feel guilty for missing Kindergarten graduation.
And not only do I feel guilty for past and present issues, but I also feel guilty for future issues. I feel guilty that they are unprepared to clean up after themselves, I feel guilty that they are not humans that have learned to give back to the community, I feel guilty that they have not been taught the value of a dollar and they do not know how to save their money.
I am responsible for too much and I do not do it well enough and before I had kids I never felt guilty about anything.
I know what you’re thinking. Let it go. You can’t make all of the right decisions all of the time. You’re human. Life is too short. Parents are supposed to mess up, especially with that first kid. Don’t waste your time feeling guilt for something you cannot change.
It’s all true of course. I know this. But I’ll never understand how people just decide to stop feeling some kind of way. You can’t just decide not to feel guilt anymore, it’s just there and quite frankly I could do without it.
What do you miss?
Morgan says
I have all the mom guilt. One has made it to 18 and does fairly well for himself, so maybe I’ve done okay and it will all work out. :)
Mama Kat says
Yes, you just keep that optimistic attitude. We’re all going to be just fine!
Abby says
omg, so true. All of it. I thought it would end once they were adults. Spoiler alert: nope.
Love that photo! :)
Mama Kat says
I see no end in sight. I’m going to be guilt ridden and worried for the rest of my life. At least I’m in good company. :)
May says
My sister loaned me a book she really loved this summer. I came across a passage she had underlined that read: That’s why we get the chance to spoil our grandchildren, because by doing that we’re apologizing to our children.
One way to alleviate Mom guilt? But wow, not a quick fix!
Mama Kat says
Seems like there’s probably a lot less pressure when you get to be a grandparent. I wonder how all our kids would turn out if we parented them like they were our grandchildren.