My biggest weakness: I’m not a cleaner.
No one ever told me bathtubs do not self clean.
No one ever told me the toilets should gleam
No one ever told me that I’d need to try
But I never asked and now I know why
No one ever told me my kids would need to be fed
No one ever told me thinking up meals would hurt my head
No one ever told me my food would make them cry
But I never asked and now I know why.
No one ever told me I’d need to scrub all the baseboards
No one ever told me it’s something I would not get praise for
No one ever told me I’d have to dust the blinds
But I never asked and now I know why
No one ever told me laundry would drive me crazy
No one ever told me it’s not cool being lazy.
No one ever told me it’d be enough to make me cry
But I never asked and now I know why
And it’s because cleaning freaking sucks.
Summer says
We are true soul sisters. I hate cleaning. Every day I pray for the day for my kids to be old enough to do it for me.
Stephanie says
Oh yeah me and cleaning are not good friends. I crave a spotless house and then I open my eyes and realize that since I’m not about to do the work and I know the men in my home won’t, unless I win the lottery my house will never be that clean.
WebSavvyMom says
–>I clean the house and if my husband dares to make a comment about something I missed, I UNLEASH. Thankfully, he’s very tidy himself so I don’t have to pick up after him too.
~deb
Stephanie @ Geezees says
You are freaking hilarious!! Love this!
Amy says
you are so right. and now i’ve been reminded it’s time to clean baseboards and blinds- SHOOT- the downfall of spring.
Erin says
AMEN.
Malissa says
I have to agree, it does suck and I hate it. There’s to much of it to do around here too!
Tina says
What?! I have to clean baseboards!? Meh.
..and doing home childcare just increases the cleaning twofold! I find boogers where I’d never imagine finding boogers…and slobber stains on my couch…blech!
Cranky Sarah says
I’ve thought about doing home daycare, but you’ve just settled it for me – I can barely handle all the bodily fluids that come out of my own kids! HAHA!
Kathy says
haha! That was great! I love to clean so I’ll be there in a little bit to scrub your baseboards :)
Charlotte says
I’m not laughing at your misery, but this post did make me giggle. I also hate to clean and I only have a 400 square foot apartment. The thought of upgrading to a house is enough to give me a mild panic attack. Where does one find the time? I come home after a long day in the office, and just want to kick off the heels, and watch TV for the rest of the evening.
Give yourself credit for all that you do!
Emmy says
Lol! Love this poem and yeah I hate cleaning
Jessica says
That’s one that I was going to do today, too, but I’m going to have to save it for another day..or not at all since you just made my thoughts about that post look bad. I opted to do Post-It’s with Supah today. And, I won’t be cleaning either.
Brandi says
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!! I’m with you it sucks!… I’d like to add feeding the cat.
3 Men and a Lady says
I HIZZATE cleaning baseboards. They’re the worst!
Laura says
I hate cleaning, but I hate a dirty house even more. So I’m just forever screwed.
MamaOtwins+1 says
No one ever told me my hubby wouldn’t know how to help
Peg says
Ok…soul sister. Inside me there is a neat freak trying to get out (LOL)… I tried to flush that B**CH down the toilet but it just overflowed! Dang it! More mess to clean up. You’re right… cleaning SUCKS!!!
Jeanette@Bliss says
Amen sista!!!
dusty earth mother says
AMEN, sister! Woot woot!
Kelly Hoosier says
AMEN!
Jennifer says
I think it may be easier to just replace the blinds than actually clean them. And I realized the other day that it is time to clean all the doors and trim in the house. Word of advice, do NOT look at your house from kid level.
Ashley says
Indeed, cleaning DOES freaking suck! I was dusting my blinds today in fact. I did one window’s worth and abandoned the whole operation. It DID however enable me to catch my neighbor lawn guy use a leaf blower to blow all of her leaves onto OUR lawn, which my husband spent two hours raking last weekend. So that was super.
Amanda says
I am the total opposite – I love to clean, I think its the OCD part of me that is causing this or maybe growing up with a neat freak mother. I usually have a pretty messy kitchen though but everything else is generally super clean…lol I need help!
Jen says
You are speaking my language. I hate cleaning so much that I just don’t. Actually just the other day my mom, who doesn’t live with me, told me I suck a keeping house. And I said, well thank you because this is my goal.
Kaye says
I totally hate cleaning–great post.
S Club Mama says
Amen!
Ashley says
I can relate 100%!
KiKi says
LOVE this! I’m going to print it out and put it on my fridge. :-P
kristi says
I feel your pain! I swept and mopped and dusted and vacuumed yesterday and now I am sore. I also rode a bike on Friday…that probably didn’t help. The thing is I can clean but after my kids are home 5 minutes, it is screwed up again!
Shelley says
Amen, sista! I’m just glad right now it doesn’t take too long for us to clean because we don’t have kids and we only have a one bedroom apartment! I don’t know how we are going to have time to clean a whole house!!
Salt says
I shudder to think what my home is going to look like once a child lives there also. I have a hard enough time cleaning up after my cats.
Granted they are some very sheddy cats.
Tracy P. says
Cleaning. Totally overrated.
trashalou says
I hate it too. Perhaps you could kick start some sort of online society??
Shell says
OMG, does it ever suck.
Which is why I’m ignorning it to try to catch up a little bit on blogs instead.
Frugal Vicki says
I DESPISE cleaning. Hate hate hate it. But you would think that it would be ingrained in me since my mom has a house that is like model-home clean. She cleans at least one room every day. And explain to me….how is it that a bathtub we have never ever ever used can get so dirty??
Lindsay @ Kids Are Teachers says
Amen girl! I never realized how hard it was to live in my own house with my own chores that I don’t even get an allowance for! It sucks!
Jenny says
I always wish for a maid, but look around and yep it’s still just me ;)
Kimmy says
LOL!! I hate cleaning bathrooms and laundry also!! I don’t like cleaning but I like a clean house so I do it but I just cringe at those two things. RAR
stephanie says
wait!?! we are supposed to clean baseboards? and dust blinds? and plan actual meal for all these little mouths?!!!
Los says
I hate cleaning too … but, my mom hit me over the head with it for so long, that I feel guilty when I don’t clean.
Essie says
No seriously, it is all the fault of those SCRUBBING BUBBLES commercials! They LIED, they lied like Tiger Woods.
Holly says
AMEN! Cleaning sucks, which is why I catch up on blog reading instead :)
Katherine says
Ah, finally an anthem for my life!
When we moved, my mother was helping us. She made the mistake of asking the last time we had cleaned the oven, blinds, and behind the fridge. She was met with a bunch of empty looks. Who knew you were supposed to clean behind the fridge? I’m lucky if I clean what’s in front of the fridge, and even luckier if I clean inside the fridge!
Karen & Gerard Zemek says
What you lack in cleaning you more than make up for with your wit, humor and writing talents! You are very clever, so don’t worry about not being a cleaning woman.
Jessica says
Oh girl. I am with you on the baseboards! Okay, everything actually. I do load after load of laundry…turn around….poof. It’s back. That such a sucky magic trick!
B says
Amen sister!
Cranky Sarah says
I often wonder if my dislike for cleaning is more related to personality or the fact that I only ever had to do real cleaning as a punishment and all the bedroom cleaning I did was always followed up by my mother doing it the “right” way. She never told me I did it wrong, I would just return to my room later and find it all different.
Kimberly says
Oh, suck it does!
Jayme says
A-fricken-men!!!
dysfunctional mom says
Oh, AMEN!! Stupid baseboards.
Erin says
I so hate cleaning as well! That is why God gave me children isn’t it?
And I made a joke one time about not knowing you had to actually feed babies, and someone took me totally serious and thought I was a complete moron! Dang I was born at night, but it wasn’t LAST night! Sheesh
Sarah Ruth says
I agree.
Sadie at heyMamas says
I don’t totally hate cleaning, but when you lay it out like that….I don’t know I am having second thoughts….
Love your poem.
Sadie at heyMamas
Sarahviz says
Amen sista!
Jen says
AMEN! LOL… This post is great. I feel the same way a lot. Ugh, I have to dust the blinds? Yikes, better get on that.
Shannon King says
Hey you posted early…lol…I love the way you made it rhyme…I hate cleaning too, in fact I wonder how long it has been since I dusted?
Otter says
Amen. I hate cleaning. Stuff like blinds and baseboards are just horrible. Everyday type cleaning is bad enough.
Christine (iDreamofClean) says
You speak the truth! So funny!
Jenn Calling Home says
I totally agree with you. In fact, I’m thinking I need to get a job outside the house so I can avoid some of the cleaning duties. : ) You should stop by and read this post I wrote after a one-time 4 hr. cleaning job. Geesh! Click on the November 2009 category and look for “Not my Typical Day”.
Shawna says
Ha ha! This is awesome. :)
No ever said poetry had to be deep, just true and real and gritty! That’s kind of how I feel about cleaning. It doesn’t have to be deep…
Marlene says
When my daughter was young She said to me Mommy I want to be just like you when I grow up! she said I want to be a stay at home with my kids and do nothing all day! she thinks I do nothing all day? I reminded her of the nothing I do all day by having her help me, she said I get now Mom. Then she got older and said she wanted a real good job that paid a good salary so she could hire help, a housekeeper. She doesn’t like to clean or pick up her mess and who always did it for her, Mommy of coarse . When my 3 kids were babies, young children I didn’t like cleaning to much either I rather spend the time with the kids, but when they were teens and I started going through menopause I started to clean and even liked it, so weird. Your poem is great, I so want my daughter to read it!
Barbara says
Ha Ha, but cleaning can be theraputic…clean instead of Kill!!