1.) Something that spooked you.
me: I heard the door open downstairs and I wasn’t positive it was you because I thought you were working today.
me: I blinked wide awake and considered their might be an intruder in our house.
me: But then I was all, ‘well I’ve waited too long now so I suppose if we’re going to die then this is it’.
me: I just gave up because I was too tired to get up and check.
me: I was mildly annoyed at how my laziness and lack of speedy reaction time was about to cost us all our lives.
Pat: Yeah I’ve done that before.
me: You have? You hear a noise and then you just wait to be killed?
Pat: No, usually if I hear a noise I’ll just wait and listen really hard and check that my knife is there.
me: You have a knife!?!
Pat: Well I used to, but I think you moved it.
me: I think I would remember moving a knife.
me: So you plan to attack an intruder with a missing knife?
me: We have a missing knife in the house??
staring….
Unison: KAINOA????
Miriam Gomberg says
Was it a big knife? Curious how much damage Pat thought he would inflict if it were a butter knife? Just saying
Melissa B. says
When we lived in the city, our so-called “weapon” of choice was my husband’s sand wedge. Not that we ever needed it. But there was this one time when he was out of town, the alarm went off, and I ran screaming into the street in the most attractive sleepwear, brandishing the golf club and looking like a fool…
Tina says
We keep a Louisville Slugger under the bed for the same reason. And we have a gate at the top of the stairs. Come to think of it, our entire house is booby trapped.
We watch too much Walking Dead.
Allie says
Kat that is so funny. We have a Kainoa, too! Also, I have woken up and had that feeling too – and then inexplicably gone back to sleep.. Some mama bear I am!
Tiffany says
This is so me. I will hear the noise try to listen harder and then think well if it was something it’s probably I’ve probably lost the element of surprise by now. LOL
Tima says
OMG! I do the same thing. I lie there, thinking what the noise could be, then think, “great, while I’ve been lying here thinking, my house has been robbed!”
Jessica says
This is hilarious. My philosophy is that if I lay there nice and quiet, I have less chance of being killed. Like, I’ll let them go ahead and steal what they want, and if I don’t bother them, they can just leave peacefully when they’re done. (I don’t have anything good to steal, and I’m obviously naive about crazy people who break in to hurt people.) PS: Hope you find that knife soon!
Abby says
Ha! A missing knife and a young boy – now THAT’s spooky! We have a big ol’ pipe under the bed. But don’t tell the bad guys.
Gigi says
Go look under his bed….that’s where all my son’s “weapons” ended up. Why little guys have a fascination with “protection” is beyond me.
Jeanette says
Love. This. Post. So funny!
Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says
That’s so funny, Kat – both calling the kid at the same time? Happens here a lot.
My mom’s protection weapon of choice? A baseball bat under the bed. Not that she’s ever swung one in her life…so I’m not really sure how that would play out.
carol says
Dang those noises! Alone, sleeping at night has become common place for me, as Dave is in the Military. If I hear a noise, I pop up from a dead sleep, stop breathing so I can listen to something other than my heartbeat, and prepare to escape! Isn’t it something how we can conjure up the most frightening scenes in the middle of the night when we hear even the slightest noise! I’m glad you got yours figured out!
kelley says
I’d be spooked to0 and freaked out about the missing knife. The other night our front door creaked open—and then creaked close. Mr. J and I were already in bed. I looked at him and said, “I am not going up there!”. Reluctantly he pulled himself out of bed. Just as we were about to head up the stairs the phone rang. My little granddaughter was on the phone. She apologized for waking us up. She had left her reading book . . . . . if she had just come in and hollered like she usually does we wouldn’t have been spooked!
May says
This is exactly why I keep a weapon-free home. The only one who would ever be harmed would be one of us!